But I Love You, Jasper
by jaspercat91
Summary: Jasper kills a human while hunting and Bella is called on to help him get through this difficult phase,and suddenly Jasper finds himself falling in love with Bella, but does she return the feelings? Please R&R! First fanfic... Bella/Jasper.
1. Bonding

My fist came down on the table. "Damn it, Edward!" I growled. "What's going on?"

Edward sighed and avoided my gaze. "It's nothing, love. I just don't want to hurt you."

I snorted. "Yeah, like that's the real reason. Tell me, Edward," I pleaded.

He sighed. "Okay. Well, it's Jasper... he killed a human on our last hunt. And I don't want to hurt you..." his voice trailed off. "I couldn't live with myself if I did."

I gasped. "Jasper? Is he okay?"

Edward sighed again and shook his head. "He's very upset with himself, naturally. But he's coping. He's locked himself up in his room, and won't come down anymore. He doesn't even let Alice in... Alice is sharing my room at the moment."

I grimaced. "Poor Jasper," I whispered. "He tries _so _hard... hey, here's an idea... why don't I go and visit him? We can have some quality bonding time, and then maybe he can stand to be around humans again."

Edward nodded, his face breaking into a smile. "That's not a bad idea, love," he said, taking my face in his hands.

***

Edward drove me up to his house, parking, getting out of the car and opening the door for me before I even undid my seatbelt. "Stupid vampire speed," I grumbled to myself. He cracked a smile at that.

Alice came bounding up to greet us. "Hey Bella," she said, serious for once. She took me off to the side, shooting Edward a glance. "Bella, I'm so glad that you're coming to help Jasper. I worry about him so much." her face crumpled up in pain. "Bella, it's Jasper. Please, please, do as much as you can. I can't bear to lose him."

"Sure, Alice," I smiled bravely. She flashed me a grin.

Edward opened the door for us, gentlemanly as ever, and we made our way up the stairs to Jasper's room. "Good luck," Alice and Edward said together, and walked quickly to "their" room, which was right across the corridor.

I took a deep breath and knocked on Jasper's door. "Jasper? It's me, Bella. Can I come in?"

"Come in," he growled.

**

I stepped inside his room and looked around. It was dark; the curtains were drawn. Things were strewn around the room, it was extremely messy, and it didn't look like he cherished any of these possessions by the way he treated them. Then my gaze fell on Jasper. He looked like he was drowning inside, his eyes, not the golden colour I had come to expect, but a fiery, crimson red, were frenzied and disorientated. He stared at me, without really seeing me.... I took a step back.

Jasper sighed. "See what I have become? I'm a monster. Even the human I'm closest to is scared of me," he said dully, sinking onto the edge of his bed and burying his head in his hands.

"Oh, Jasper," I whispered, sitting beside him on the bed, but not too close. I'd always thought Jasper was shyer and more sensitive than the rest of the Cullens... I'd have to be more careful around him so as to not hurt his feelings... "I'm - I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I'm not scared of you, I just want to help."

He laughed hollowly. "I'm a monster, Bella," he repeated. "You wouldn't want to get too close to me. I killed an innocent human girl." He turned his magnificent head to look at me, eyes boring into mine.

"Jasper, I want to help." I said firmly. "Stay still," I whispered. I moved closer to him. He was still looking at me, not breathing, his long perfect fingers clenched into fists. Closer... closer still... til I was close enough to feel his breath fanning across my face. "Rest your head on my shoulder," I whispered.

He nodded once and did so, turning his face away from mine. My nose was buried in the back of his head, I could smell the scent of his honey blonde hair... I reached up a hand and pulled my fingers through his thick luscious hair. "Breathe, Jasper," I whispered. "See if you can stand my smell."

I heard a sharp intake of breath.


	2. Mixed Feelings

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight :(

And also thanks to everyone who reviewed, much appreciated :)

I heard a sharp intake of breath, and before I could react, before I could even blink, a pair of marble hard arms reached out and shoved my back. I gasped in shock as I fell off the side of the bed. I landed on all fours, and I quickly checked to see if my palms were bleeding: they were stinging like hell. Nope. Slightly grazed, but not bleeding.

I breathed a sigh of relief, and looked up, my eyes searching for Jasper. He had opened a window and was leaning outside, breathing heavily.

I got up and said, tentatively, "Er... Jasper? Are you okay?"

"Damn it, Bella, you'll be the death of me," he said, sounding strained. I could tell that he wasn't breathing.

"I - I thought you did okay, Jasper," I murmured softly.

"Okay? You thought that was okay? I nearly killed you, Bella!" his voice rose.

"I - I don't care. We could try again next time?" I offered feebly.

"No." he almost snarled. "There won't be a next time. I might - I might lose control. I don't want to kill you, Bella. Get out."

"O - okay. Bye, Jasper," I mumbled, turning my back on him as tears started to well up in my eyes. I was surprised, it wasn't like me to be so sensitive and cry so easily. I fled to the door and opened it.

But before I closed the door behind me, I listened for a farewell greeting from Jasper.

It might have been my imagination, maybe my ears were playing up, or maybe it was just simply what I wanted to hear, but I could've sworn I heard Jasper mumble, almost inaudibly, "See you soon Bella. I hope."

Smiling faintly, I closed the door.

**

"How did it go?" Edward asked.

"Good, I guess," I mumbled. "Jasper didn't kill me."

Edward chuckled. "You did great," he said reassuringly as he led me down the stairs, hand placed protectively around my waist as if he thought I'd fall down the stairs an moment. Which was probably wise of him. "I'll drop you off tomorrow afternoon, and you can stay with Jasper again, alright?"

"But Edward," I mumbled, "Jasper said he didn't want me to come back. I stuffed up."

Edward's eyes darkened. "That idiot," he growled. "How dare he talk to you like that, I'm going to have a word with him - "

I cut him off. "No, Edward, leave Jasper alone," I said, surprised as the words tumbled out of my mouth.

Edward glanced at me in surprise, but said nothing.

"I can see what he goes through," I ploughed on. "How much he suffers -"

Emmett appeared at the bottom of the stairs. "Bellaaaaaaa!" he screamed in delight, crushing me in a bear hug. I laughed, and immediately wished I hadn't.

"Emmett - can't - breathe!" I gasped out.

He boomed out a laugh and released me. "So, how did you do with Jasper?" he asked me, eyes twinkling.

"Umm, not bad," I shrugged.

Emmett laughed. "Fear the man who underestimates porcupines -"

"Oh, Emmett, what's that got to do with anything?" Edward asked irritably.

"Everything. Porcupines are a very underrated species," Emmett said seriously.

"Yeah?" a voice floated down from upstairs. Jasper's. "Well, Emmett, your head is stuck so far up your arse that you can eat your intestines!"

I laughed. "Do vampires even have intestines?" I thought.

Emmett cussed and raced up the stairs.

Jasper laughed lightly from up in his room. "Hey Emmett, I like you. You're like the dog that keeps coming back no matter how many times you kick the fark out of it."

Alice danced down the corridor toward me and Edward. "Oh, thank you, Bella!" she exclaimed, hugging me. "Jasper's much better now, he's actually making jokes now. I can't thank you enough!"

"My pleasure, Alice," I smiled.

**

On the drive home, I reflected on my day with Jasper.

_Damn it, Bella, you'll be the death of me._

_I nearly killed you, Bella!_

_Get out. _

And then finally, _See you soon, Bella. I hope._

A small smile played across my lips as I looked out the car window, enjoying the prospect of being able to spend another day with him...

**A/N: Please review, it means a lot to me :)**


	3. Out of the Blue

**A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing, guys! I don't own Twilight, though I wish I did. lol. :) Sometimes I tend to steal ideas from the books. but don't sue me :D**

That night, I tried, unsuccessfully, to finish my Calculus homework. My thoughts kept wandering, I couldn't concentrate. Edward wasn't with me, he said he had something to do.

"Family business," he said, and told me that he'd come later at night. Frustrated, I threw the sheet of paper across the room on top of the growing pile of homework I owned. At least I'd have all weekend to work on it... might as well sleep now.

**

I drifted off into an uneasy sleep. It was a cold night, and my thin duvet didn't do much to help protect me from it. I shivered and wrapped it more tightly around myself, but to no effect.

There was a thump on my window, and my eyes immediately flicked over to it. There was a full moon, and the figure seated on the branches of the tree outside of my window... wasn't Edward. I gasped in shock and recognition.

"_Jasper_?" I whispered. I sat up hurriedly and made to open the window, and he climbed in and dropped to the ground gracefully without a sound.

"Jasper_?_" I whispered again. "What are you doing here?" I shivered.

Jasper frowned. "You're wearing too little, Bella," he said disapprovingly, and took off his hoodie and gave it to me.

"I - no, I can't, it's yours," I protested.

He laughed. "It's cold, Bella. Put it on."

"Um, thanks." I pulled it on. It was soft and warm, and smelled like him.

"No problem." he smiled. "Um, I just came to say, thanks for helping me out." he said shyly.

"Anytime," I smiled brightly.

"I - I'm sorry for snapping at you. I feel terrible about it." he said, eyes downcast.

I sighed. "Don't worry about it, Jasper. I don't blame you," I said, marvelling at the beautiful person sitting beside me. He _was_ shy and sensitive, and sweet, and I liked it. "Where's Edward, by the way?"

"Edward's music got picked up by a large company in New York," he explained to me. "So he flew over this afternoon, not long after you left, actually. The whole family decided to go with him, you know, for moral support and all that," he said, cracking a grin. "He didn't have time to say bye personally, it was very rushed. But I've been left behind to take care of you, so we'll have lots of fun together." He smiled.

"Oh," I mumbled. "How long is it for?"

"A week."

"Oh. That's not too bad then. I'd like to spend some more time with you," I blushed. Jasper laughed.

Another thought occured to me. "Hey, Jazz, where's Alice? Did she go with Edward as well?" I asked.

"She wanted to stay with me, but you know Alice. She loves to shop, and she couldn't resist the huge shopping centres up in New York." Jasper smiled sadly. I could see the hurt in his eyes, he'd just been put second in line to perhaps a few bags (or, knowing Alice, probably a few suitcases) of new clothes and shoes.

I crawled over to him and hugged him. He stiffened a tiny bit.

I realised my mistake and started to pull back, but he started to hug me back, my scent didn't seem to bother him as much anymore. Maybe he was starting to get over it... his burgundy colour of his eyes were starting to fade. "I'm glad you're getting better, Jazz." I said happily.

"I'm glad, too," he said, smiling. "Do you want me to stay with you while you sleep?" he asked.

I considered for a second. "Yes. I'd like that," I smiled.

"Okay." he grinned, moving to sit in the rocking chair beside my bed.

I fell asleep almost immediately.

**

When I woke up, sunlight was streaming though the windows. I blinked, eyes adjusting to the sudden brightness, and sat up. Jasper had relocated himself to the foot of my bed. He was lying down, arms and legs spread out, and eyes closed. The sunlight made him sparkle radiantly... my breath caught. He was beautiful.

Jasper heard me and opened his eyes.

"Ah," he smiled. "The human's awake." His voice shook me out of my stupor. I noticed that he was stiffened, as if he was still trying to hold himself back from killing me. I cursed myself for smelling so appetizing to him.

"Hey." I smiled, trying not to let it bother me. I tried to smother my feelings so he wouldn't be hurt. "What time is it?"

"Twelve. Charlie's gone fishing with Billy, I heard him leave a few hours ago. Why don't you get up and have some breakfast? I made you some toast." he smiled.

"Thanks." I smiled. "I'll have a shower and I'll be right down."

**

After I had my shower, I ate quickly. The toast was delicious. I realised I still had his hoodie and handed it back to him.

"Thanks." I said.

"No, you can keep it for now," he said. "It'll be cold tonight, and I noticed that your duvet didn't offer much protection against the cold last night," he chuckled.

"Um, thanks Jasper." I said.

"No problem. So, Bella," Jasper smiled. "What do you want to do now?"

"Um, I have a new zombie movie that I'd love to watch," I said, laughing.

Jasper laughed too. "A zombie movie it is then."

He sat down on the two-seater couch, stretching his amazingly long legs out. I mentally slapped myself. _Friends don't do that,_ I told myself while I put the movie on, and then went to sit beside him.

**

A few minutes into the movie, the carnage had already started. Everyone had been turned into zombies now, and they freaked me out a little bit. The main character got beheaded and blood poured out of the wound. I shuddered.

Jasper put his hand over mine. My small hand twitched under his, I felt a spark of electricity run up the entire length of my arm.

"We could stop watching now, if you want," he said gently, hand still on mine. No more electricity, but a warm feeling coursed around my body. It felt nice. It felt _good_.

I shook my head no, I was in too comfortable a position to move. He nodded.

I didn't pay attention to the rest of the movie, I couldn't. My eyes kept darting from the screen to his hand, which was still rested on mine...

Jasper seemed to notice my emotions go haywire. He glanced down, realised that he was still holding my hand and gently pulled it away. The sense of calm that had enveloped me before started to dissipate, and I sighed inwardly.

Jasper, being an empath, sent me waves of calm. I shot him a grateful glance, noticing, that his back was stiffened all along.

About a dozen emotions suddenly coursed through me at once. What was I _doing_? Did this mean that I had feelings for Jasper Hale? My boyfriend's brother? I was sure he didn't return the feelings, he had Alice, who was about a thousand times prettier than me...

_Fuck._ I uttered silently in my head.

JASPER POV (**A/N: Overlaps a little bit with Bella's POV)**

I felt fear radiating from Bella as the scenes unfolded, I could hear a faint whimper erupt from her as a zombie beheaded the man. I stifled a laugh: it wasn't polite, humans were upset more easily than vampires. Us vampires weren't troubled particularly by anything, except, of course, the smell of human blood.

I owed Bella in that department though. When I first heard Alice and Edward's plan, I wasn't sure if I could stop myself from killing her. I looked back, shamefully, on the day I had killed the human; it eradicated all the years of my vegetarian diet, and I was back to being an out of control, thirsty vampire. But if I had somehow been unable to control myself when Bella was in my room, Alice would see, right? Edward would hear me, right? So I had let her in.

I didn't breathe, of course. It was uncomfortable, but I didn't want another murder on my hands, and the human that stood in my room wasn't just an anonymous stranger, she was Edward's mate. So I refrained myself from killing her. It was difficult, but at least I'd managed it, and she was ever so brave... Alice said that I would be able to return to school in a week or two.

I felt her fear again, it came at me stronger. I didn't want to manipulate her emotions, she didn't like it when I did that. Instead I reached out and put my hand in hers, I felt her fear dissipate, to be replaced by calm.

Electricity hit me like a lightning bolt when I had touched her hand, I stiffened immediately so I wouldn't shout out, that would only make Bella afraid again. I concentrated on the feel of her hand on mine, it felt nice. Her hand was so warm.... all of a sudden another emotion overwhelmed me entirely. I felt _love_ for Bella Swan. I had fallen in love with a human. Oh, Alice, Alice, Alice, I'm sorry, I thought.

And to make matters even worse, I was sure that Bella didn't return those feelings for me. She probably thought the hand-in-hand gesture thing was an act of _brotherly_ love. She loved Edward, not me. Shit. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. But of course, being a vampire, you couldn't just die by crawling into a hole.

Crap.

**My longest chapter yet! Yay! I know it moved kind of fast, faster than I would've liked, but what can you do. It's my first time writing a romance, so i'm trying my best. :) Please review! Yay! It was sort of rushed, so, sorry if there are some mistakes and stuff. D:  
**


	4. AN! Important, please read

**A/N: I just read over chapter 4 and 5**

**and I decided it would be better if I put some extra chapters in between Chapter Three and chapter Four.**

**The story will end up the same, **

**I'm just going to put a few extra chapters in. **

**The original chapter 4 and 5 will probably become**

**the new chapters 7 and 8. **

**Thank you to all the lovely people who read my stories. :)**


	5. Another AN

**A/N: I just read over chapter 4 and 5**

**and I decided it would be better if I put some extra chapters in between Chapter Three and chapter Four.**

**The story will end up the same, **

**I'm just going to put a few extra chapters in. **

**The original chapter 4 and 5 will probably become**

**the new chapters 7 and 8. **

**Thank you to all the lovely people who read my stories. :)**


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